Back From Vacation! Thats Right Vacation!

Sorry everyone I know you missed me blogging about my miserable life, all my humiliating accidents and horrible mishaps. I know it must of been hard for you to live your perfect lives without me, some of you might have forgot how great you have it. Noticed I didn't get any donations lately, you give money to poverty stricken kids in third world countries, why not benji! I worse off then most of them kids. What will it take to get some damn money for some booze on here? How about I get me a commercial of me half naked and crying in an alley way, with Susan Struther's advocating my poverty, better yet get me Susan Sarandon, any Susan will do! Alright enough just full begging. So to tell you folks I am back from my semi-annual vacation. I was in Coney Island visiting my good old friend Hillman, better known as Hillman The Boardwalk Bum. He's doing pretty well out there getting a lot of money from some FINE FOLKS. Now I know your all thinking, a homeless bum can't go on a vacation... Why the hell not, you think that because I got no money and no ambitions I can't go on vacation! well screw you mr. only people with disposable income should enjoy themselves in this fine U, S of A. I'm sorry to get so upset all this talking with words is giving me a headache, a headache I might add that can be quenched with an icy cold Bud Light! Give generously people!

CANADIANS LOVE THE HOMELESS!!!

Hello all, I was minding my own business in Bryant Park. If you have never heard of it, its a great place for me to sit and relax and scare off tourists. I'm Just about to pass out on this bench, when this tall ginger kid offered me his coat, I was like damn man I don't want your coat, its freezing out here, what are you simple. Kid said he was Canadian, that explains it. I was brother keep your coat, you got any change, some bills for Benji, damn Canadian opened up his wallet in front of me, I had to explain to Mr Ginger Canadian that you don't open up your wallet full of money if front of guy with nothing to loose, you know what im saying, kid was stupid or something. He asked me how much I wanted!!!!!!! I said I'll take everything you got, jokingly, HE GAVE IT ALL TO ME! I got $43, That's 48 Bud Light!!! now them Canadians ain't rich but they sure do love the homeless, don't know if he was simple or something, but thanks Canada, send some more my way, I'll be at the park every day from 12-3. Bless you Canadians, but stop being so damn stupid with your money!

Ted Williams, Really, WHAT ABOUT ME!!!

I haven't posted anything on here in a while since non of the fine folks that read me seemed to give me some change. Hell I would take anything 1cent 2cents, com'on people this is me crying out for some help. So I'm seeing this Ted Williams guy everywhere, america pulled a homeless man off the street and is giving him another chance, well isnt that nice, where is my helping hand? I have a golden voice, sure it might be because of my degenerating vocal cords, please help me out. If not for me then Ted Williams sake, helping me, helps people like him. Give me some change people, Obama promised me some but I'm still waiting, help a brother out in the meantime. Thanks everyone, God Bless!